I'm Home!

I write this while sitting in my new house, the first night in my new house actually... it feels amazing! I got possession of the house last Wednesday, but spent the first 4 days cleaning and moving boxes. The furniture was moved in yesterday, which left me last night and today to get things ready to bring the boys over. They were so excited to get in here, didn't have too many issues this first night. Bug did say he wanted to sleep at Grandma's house, but I did convince him (wasn't that difficult) that he should stay here with me.

It feels so incredible to have all this space for myself and the boys, things were a little cramped at my parents house. The privacy is something I have been dreaming about for weeks, it's nice to have my own space to breath.

Things will be a bit crazy around here for the next week or so, I have someone coming to paint in the evenings, and of course the typical organizing and cleaning. Enough to keep me busy for a few weeks. One of the big items on my list is to get the garage sorted out so I can park the van in it. We had the first snow fall Saturday, and scraping snow and ice off my van is NOT my idea of fun. Let's just hope that the weather holds off for a little while, at least enough time to get the garage done.

I will start taking pictures of each room as it gets done, painting and organizing. I can't wait to see how it will all work out!

It's been a while....

So, it's been a number of weeks since my last post! Not sure why I haven't written, lots to say, just haven't felt like writing it down I guess. It's almost feels that since my life is in limbo right now, other things are in limbo too?!?!? Not sure if it makes sense, but it's how I feel! This limbo life will be over in just a few short days though, I can hardly wait to be in my new house. The boys are pretty excited too, I think we are all looking forward to our own place.

I of course am, and always will be, forever grateful to my parents for letting us stay with them this last month. It has been a total life saver for us, especially for the boys. It has really cemented their relationship with their grandparents, something they really need in this time of uncertainty. I am though really looking forward to having some privacy (and I'm sure my parents are looking forward to the quiet when we are gone) again, I'm not used to sharing my evenings with anyone anymore.

Only one real thing of note to mention tonight, I finally got a new tattoo!!! I absolutely love it, it feels like it has always been there. I can now hardly wait to plan and get my next one!

School Season is upon us!

Monkey had his first day of school last Thursday, what a big milestone! My little boy is now attending 'Big Boy' school, it's amazing how quickly they grow up. I was proud that I didn't cry, but I did get teary. This Friday Bug will start back up at pre-school, he will be attending 3 days a week this year. I will actually have 3 mornings a week just with the Little Man! It will be really nice for Little Man to have some Mama time, he very rarely gets one on one time with me.

The boys and I are slowly settling into my parents house, I think it is harder on me then them. They get to see Grandma & Grandpa every day, which is pretty much heaven to them. But for me, it's not ideal. I really need and miss my quiet time each day, especially my privacy! There really isn't any room in the house that I can be guaranteed privacy. I am sharing a room with Little Man, and across the hall is Monkey & Bug. The rest of the rooms are of course common ones that are shared with my parents. I just keep reminding myself that it is only for 3 weeks... just 3 weeks. If I can camp alone with the 3 little boys, I can handle 3 weeks in my parents house!

a few bumps

Well, a few bumps, and few hours later... I can now say I am finally done! I will never have to see that house again, I can learn to forget about the last few months there... or at least try. The money is in the bank, and I am ready to walk away.

To New Beginnings!!!!

Time

Well, as of 8:30am tomorrow (Thursday, August 19th, 2009), I will be saying good bye to the house I have lived in for the last 2 years. It is not a truly bad house, it was entered into with hopes and dreams. There are many memories I will cherish from that house, especially one.

On November 24th, 2007, I gave birth to Little Man in that house, in fact, in the bathtub in the master en-suite. That night, my family grew by one more member. I have now left that house missing one family member. But it was not by death that a family member was lost, but by desertion. Yes, my Husband was my family, he was my life, he was an integral part of my family. That particular family is now gone, replaced by another, even stronger one.

This new family is of course myself and the boys, but bonded together with the love and support from so many other people. Even though a key person is gone, I have gained so much more than I have lost. I am truly blessed by the support I have found during this most difficult time in my life. Without it, I would not be standing on my own two feet right now. I do realize that it is not over for me yet, I still have many hurdles to cross, but I know that I will get through them... because of my boys, and the friends and family that I have.

To everyone that has been there for me, THANK YOU. You have all brought me to this point, saying good bye to that house. Again, Thank You.

Stressing out....

I am so starting to seriously stress out, I'd forgotten just how much I hate moving and cleaning! Add all the other stresses on top of this one, and let's just say it's not pretty. Must remember that it is only another few days, then I can take a breather for a month.... or as much of one as the boys will allow!

I just want into my new house desperately, I need to be there, I need to settle somewhere. Please let me get in early.

Wow...

So, the boys are moved out to Grandma & Grandpa's, and I have the house to myself tonight! Although I do not plan on staying here all that much longer, just waiting for a friend to get over here so we can head out. We are going to check out the Tattoo convention, then off for some drinks. I am looking for an artists to do a piece on the back of my neck. It will be a Victorian Stylized light post, the colours will be the boys birthstones. Monkey is Emerald (the one I am also telling to Go), the Bug is Ruby (the one I am constantly saying Stop to), and then Little Man is Topaz (the one that I am always saying be careful to). I figure it will be around 3 inches long, and 1 to 2 inches wide.

I do want to get another one done, but it will have to wait till next year I think. I would like it to start on my lower abdomen, travel up my side, and finish off on my upper back. That one will consist of the boys birth flowers, and maybe mine as well. I have wanted to get more ink (I have one tattoo on my stomach, that I got 13 years ago) for a very long time, and I do not feel like waiting anymore. It is time I do what I want, and not worry about anyone else. And this will not affect the boys in any way, so I say let's do it!!!

Tomorrow will be the day to get everything out of here, I am so excited! I can hardly wait to have this house put behind me, the last few months have not been good here.

Making progress

I finally feel like I am making progress! It is now just down to the kitchen really, only a few odds and ends around the house. I have a van full of various things to take out to Cochrane in the morning. I have things for good will, and things of his to drop off out there as well. I will then be making another trip with the van to take some boxes out to my parents place. They have a large storage tent set up by their garage, and three waiting palates. I am hoping to get as much as possible in the tent, to help keep their garage free... although I suspect some items will be finding their way next door, but at least there will still be room for one vehicle.

The boys were as usual running a little wild, doing their best to get my attention. I feel really badly that I can't spend time playing with them, or even reading them a story. Thankfully I only have a week left here, and can then spend as much time doing things with them as I want. Monkey has been really naughty lately, getting into things that just drive me insane! I keep finding creams poured into my sink, plugs moved around, and other various things. Bug just keeps going from one thing to another, and always looking for snuggles. Then there is Little Man. Nothing is safe with him around, it is all fair game! That little mischievous smile of his just pulls on my heart every time though.

It is now time for me to get some sleep, the boys are usually up bright and early... and of course I have a lot to do.

Crap

Have I mentioned yet how tired I am of packing???? How the heck did I get stuck doing this by myself??? Someone please tell me??? Oh, I know! It is all very clear in my mind....

I did get out last night to meet some ladies for some lovely cheese cake and drinks. It was a last minute type of thing, and boy did I need it. When I look around this house, and see all the crap everywhere, I feel like... well... crap! I do not like my house messy, it gives me the heebie, jeebies. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will only be for another week, that's it, just one more week!!!!

Oh, I am getting the storage trailer brought over tonight. Now to just find someone to help me move the furniture into it!!! Anyone??? Anyone???

So very tired

I still have at least one week of packing to do, and I am already so very, very tired. I really wish the packing fairy would come here and just get it done for me. I'm thinking I may never move again to just avoid the stress of moving!!!!

To prove just how tired I am, here's what happened at bedtime tonight. The boys of course have been running a little wild this last week, being cooped up in the house most days due to the weather, has not helped the situation one bit. Then Uncle John came over tonight to install the new dishwasher, which I am forever grateful for! But, they of course wanted to help Uncle John, which as I'm sure you all know, isn't really helping. It was then I decided they needed to go to bed early tonight.

At 6:45pm, I had them upstairs getting ready. Shortly after 7pm, they were in their respective beds. I was in the chair in Little Man's room while he was in his bed, trust me, this is an improvement! The last month I have had to hold him so that he can fall asleep, not exactly the highlight of my evenings... although once in a while is nice, but my poor arms need a rest too. Well, next thing you know, I wake up to Little Man playing quietly on his bed, and some chattering coming from down the hallway??? I get up, and head down the hall to see what is going on.

I found Monkey & Bug in the formers room, with the three suitcases from my room, along with a now empty tube of toothpaste (all natural, thank God), and a large pile of toonies!!! How the heck did I miss hearing all that??? They would have had to go right past Little Man's room a few times to get all 3 suitcases out, and then the toonies as well. With three little boys in this house, I usually wake up to the slightest sound. When I was able to get back downstairs, the clock said it was 15 minutes after 8pm.

This all points to a very tired, and stressed out Mama. I can't wait to get this house packed up, and the things I don't want sold or removed for consignment. I just want this part of my life behind me, and move on to better things. I want to live again, not just deal with crap!

Packing, packing & more packing!

We have had crappy weather the last few days, which goes along with the crappy job of packing up this house! I am luckily getting a lot of help from friends and family, but it is still a very large job. I should really be utilizing my evenings once the kids are in bed, but I am so busy during the day packing, dealing with them, getting errands done, and whatever else needs to be done... that I just don't want to spend every evening packing!!!! Although, the quicker I get this done, the quicker I can spend some good quality time with the boys!!!

The boys have just been crazy lately, mostly due to the lack of any real schedule going on right now. Having boxes piling up, Mama busy all the time, and so many changes happening, is not helping things at all right now. What's really not helping is how clingy they are to me these days, makes it hard for my friends to watch them while I try to get some packing done. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary, and I will have them back to a routine very soon.

Mornings have been improving the last few days. I am making sure I get up around 6am each day, so that I can be ready to help them out right away. We have actually been down to breakfast at a decent time the last few days, something that had been slipping for a few months now. I have never professed to be a morning person, but for them, I am going to have to be. Once school starts next month, we will have to be dressed and out the door by 8am each and every weekday. Right now I'm lucky if we are eating breakfast by 8am.

Another reason to be up earlier, is to avoid massive destruction to this house while I have my shower!!! The things that little man gets into when I leave the room for 5 minutes is impressive, just think of what happens when I am gone for 30 minutes. I came down the other morning to find my used tea bag opened and strewn about the counter, the banana's all had finger holes covering them, the chairs were strategically positioned around the kitchen to access any and all things that appeal to a 20 month old.... which is pretty much everything. It is just too nerve wracking to continue with that... so Mama now has to learn to be up super early each day to get herself ready before diving into the day.

Sale is final!

The house out in Cochrane is mine, well in 2 months LOL. The conditions were met this morning, so now all I have to do is wait. I'm not doing much tonight, just very, very tired. I've had a few late nights lately, which have finally caught up with me. I will be finding my own bed fairly soon tonight.

I was back in the house on Wednesday for the inspection, which I was very nervous about. I essentially bought that house with only ever being inside the one time back in early June, and even though I remember thinking it was a good house for me and the boys, I was worried my memory may have been flawed. Well, it wasn't.

The house is actually bigger than I remembered, and the kitchen much nicer too. The kitchen I have now is nice, but the new one is much better laid out cupboard wise. I will truly enjoy being in that kitchen. The bedrooms were all pretty much how I remembered as well, all good sizes, with plenty of room for the 4 of us. The yard though was much bigger than I remembered. The boys will love having that yard to play in, especially with the park right outside the back gate. The only true drawback to a yard that size is maintenance. I may just have to consider hiring someone to mow that lawn, or figure out a schedule with my parents to allow me the time to get it done.

I also went and purchased a new bed after the house inspection. I am very much looking forward to sleeping in a new bed, one that does not have memories of him associated with it. He can have the 3 beds in this house, I really and truly do not want to see them after I leave here in 3 weeks. I have already picked out the bedding I would like, unless of course I come across something I like better before I move in. I want the bedding picked before I take possession so that I can figure out what colour to paint my new bedroom.

All in all, I am very pleased with the purchase I have made. It is going to be a wonderful home for me and my boys, a place to make new, wonderful, happy memories. Here are some of the pics I took yesterday. The one with an arrow pointing to a garage is showing where my parents are in relation to my front lawn.

My New House

I just signed the papers for the sale of my new house!!!! I have till the 31st to have the conditions lifted, but I am not even remotely worried about that. The inspection will be either Tuesday or Wednesday, I can't wait to get in to the house again. I will walk the boys over to the park today, and show them the yard. I am truly looking forward to seeing what they think.

This is such a big step for me. I have never made such a large purchase on my own before, and it was a little scary... but, it is just another accomplishment for me. This will be my house, he has had nothing to do with the purchase, or even choosing. I have never looked forward to a place this much before. Just a little over two months and I will be in.

I also realized yesterday, that in just 3 years, all 3 boys will be walking down the street to school!!!!

So Close!

I will be going through with the purchase of the house that I have been dreaming about for over a month tomorrow! I am so excited, can barely stop looking at the photo's of the house, and figuring out what I am going to do with the rooms LOL. Only slight down side is that I won't get in till Sept 30th, so that means I will be staying with my parents for a month. It will be interesting staying there again, but at least this time I know when I will be out, which makes the world of difference. And I'm sure having scheduled counseling sessions will also help me big time, a place to sort through things that will crop up.

Have I said how Excited I am yet LOL. I will soon have my own place, a place without his influence at all, a place just for me... and the boys of course ;). Even though he is gone, I can still feel his presence here, which is good and bad... just depends on what things I remember. When I remember how well he treated me, loved me, cared for me, it's good. Anything from this year, well, not so good. It will be good to make this last break.

Waiting, waiting.

If you haven't noticed already, I don't really have a lot of patience... especially when it comes to moving on with my life. I put an offer in to the house I first fell in love with a month ago, yesterday afternoon. Because the owner was out of town, we gave her till 9pm tonight to get back to us. An hour ago I got a text from my realtor saying that they got hold of her, and she would have her response in 2-3 hours.

The one thing I am holding onto is, she did not just reject the offer, and will be responding! I am willing to move on the money side of things a fair bit, but the possession by only a few weeks. My parents (especially my Dad) have said we are welcome in their house for as long as needed, but I would truly like to keep our time there to a minimum. As I'm sure you all understand, I love them, but don't really want to live with them anymore.

Other than that, things are moving along with the sale here. The inspection was this morning, and since the buyer was not present, he didn't get the report right away. So again, I am waiting to hear how it went. They only have till Monday to have all conditions removed, and I put to have my conditions on the offer cleared for Tuesday. So, if all goes well, Tuesday I will hopefully be celebrating!!!

Decisions, decisions!

It's decision time, which house to offer for, and for how much! I'm still pretty sure I want the one I saw a month ago, although there is a close contender. The only real snag is what kind of possession the owner will take. I understand she has some medical/health issues, and wants a long possession... but what does long mean to her! She has been out of town, and won't be back till tomorrow... so I am going to be flying a little blind here.

If I cannot get that house by the end of September (a little over a month with my parents is a little too much), then I will move on to option #2. This house is a little bigger, with more rooms, and is also set up nicely. The big draw backs are that it does not have a garage (although there is space out front to put a double in), and the yard is smaller and needs work. The first choice has a very nice landscaped large yard, with a single car garage.

I will sleep on it tonight, and see how I feel in the morning. Hopefully a good sleep will give me the clarity I need for this.

Conditionally Sold!!!

The house is now Conditionally Sold!!! I am waiting to find out about the house I am interested in, but there are a few others that look good as well. I am heading out tomorrow afternoon to look and see what I am willing to buy!

I am so excited to finally be able to move on to the next stage of my life, I need to move on, and this will be a big part of that!

It's going to be a long morning!

This is just a real quick post. I am going to have an offer on the house today after lunch, don't know what it is yet, just that one is coming! I'm really hoping it's decent, either enough to say yes, or at least work with. So far, the morning is dragging by... guess I need to find something to keep me busy and occupied!

Please pray it's a good offer, I could really use a wonderful start to my week!

House update

So, my realtor says the house that I want was pulled off the market??? She says she will look into why, and when they might re list it. If it got pulled because of low interest, I wonder if they would accept a conditional offer from me??? I really want that house, and I really hope I get it!!!

Now to just get this bloody awful house I am in sold and gone!

Crap!

So, I just popped onto MLS, and the house that I really wanted.... is no longer listed! I am really upset. I really, really wanted this house. I really just felt it was the place for me, but because I can't sell this freaking monster of a house that he has saddled me with, I didn't get the house I wanted.

Not sure what the next step is, guess just keep waiting to sell this $%^&*^&#$@ house... I just want it gone. I never knew I could hate a house so much, but I am certainly starting to hate this one. Will have to start the search for a new house all over again... crap!!!