Some changes

Well, after this joyful weekend, and all that ensued.... I am making some changes.  Other than spending time with my kids, I am just going to concentrate on working out!  I have some goals in mind, and I don't want anything to get in the way of reaching them.  All this dating, and what not, was really starting to stress me out!  Dating with 3 little boys at home is very, very difficult!  It's also compounded by the fact that I can't rely on the ex to actually take them when he is supposed to, which makes it rather difficult to make plans.  How are you supposed to get to know someone if you can only see them once or twice a month?!?!

I'm lucky that I have some incredible friends, that are there for me when I need them.  Without them in my life it would be so much harder navigating my way through everything.  I really wonder how I survived all those years married without them, how I possibly enjoyed my life with them missing?  I must remember at all times to keep them close to me from now on, they help me keep balanced.

Happy Freaking Birthday to Me!

Well, this is close to one of the worst birthdays I've had.  In some ways my fault, and in others, just the way things worked out.  The weather has sucked, crazy wet snow coming down in almost white out conditions.  This of course ruined my plans for the evening.  I also made a decision yesterday to stop trying to date, I just don't really have it in me right now.  I have worked so hard to get where I am, and I do still have a lot of work to do.  I also really don't want to ruin my progress by putting my happiness in someone else's domain.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of entering a relationship again, of putting my heart into someone else's hands.  And why shouldn't I be?  I had my heart broken by someone that I loved, who said he loved me too, yet he still broke my heart.  I'm also scared of putting my kids through another relationship, of bringing someone else into their lives.  I don't want to confuse them, they have so much to adjust to right now as it is.

There is someone that I would like to try having a relationship with...

So, here I sit alone, celebrating my 36th Birthday.  Don't feel sorry for me, being alone is something I do really need to get used to.  It's not really as bad as it sounds either, I would rather be alone right now then risk my sanity.  I still have a lot of improvements to make to myself, things I want to do.

Things 2...

Well, it has been an extremely busy week off of school!  I feel like I've really had little time to just enjoy things... except for Monday.  On that day I took the boys, along with my Mom, up to Banff for some walking around, as well as a chance to use the hot springs.  Which I won't be able to use for a few weeks because of my Tattoo.  The boys had a blast in the water, really need to make more time to go swimming with them once my tattoo is healed.  Monkey is getting very, very brave in the water.  It is such a nice change considering how scared he used to be, although it has it's draw backs as well.  I have to be extra vigilant keeping an eye on him.

My tattoo is healing, but is still very tender.  Putting a shirt on is uncomfortable, and sleeping isn't much better right now.  Another few days though and it should be much better.  Going to see about getting another session of lasering for my back next week, really want to get that finished off.  I don't want to get another tattoo until my back is done.  I will also need to chat with some artists about designing my next two as well.

I have a busy weekend off planned right now.  I'm heading out with a friend tonight for some drinking (not too much) and some dancing.  I will then be working for my Mom at her store Saturday, it's been many (at least 5) years since I have worked for her.  It will be interesting to see how that goes.  It's actually been that long since I last worked a job of any kind!  Scary!!!  I am then going on a date Saturday night, another scary thought!  I've been on a number since October, but it's still something that makes me nervous.  The joys of being single again!

Got it done!

Well, the new tattoo is done... ouch!  Took longer than I expected, 4 hours!  It was worth it though.  I didn't get the best pic of it afterwards, will have to wait till the bandage comes off in the morning before I take another one.  And here it is...

Tattoo time again!

I'm heading in to Tiki Town on Tuesday to get my next tattoo done... pretty excited, and a bit nervous too. I'm getting a Phoenix on my left arm, it will be about 8 inches long.

I will also be getting 'Embrace Love' put on the inside of my right wrist.  I somewhat nervous about all these tattoo's that will be so visible, but at the same time it feels right.  I am finally doing what feels right and I love that!

I'm also looking at buying a bike, a Honda Shadow to be exact.  There's one I'm very interested in, just need to figure out a time to look at it.  I have to take a friend who can ride with me, to test drive it.  I will then sign up for some lessons, and work hard to get my license.  I've been on the back of bikes since I was 12, had a scooter when I was 14, just never driven a motorcycle.  I was out for a ride last weekend with a friend, and it made me realize just how much I want to do this.

So many changes coming along for me, but they all feel so right... my life if finally moving forward.