Sunday, November 14, 2010

How could I have forgotten???

I HATE painting!  I have now spent my entire day working on painting my office/sewing room, and the TV/Play room... it's 3:30am, and I'm exhausted.  The worst part is that I will be doing it all over again tomorrow.  I'll also need to have it all cleaned up before the boys come home. I know this needed to get done, but I really think I must be out of my mind for doing it... even if it looks so much better already.r

Sunday, November 7, 2010

What do I do with tomorrow?

I had really hoped I wouldn't be married by this point, but well here I am... tomorrow will mark 14 years of Marriage to C.  It also marks one year that C moved back to Canada with his girlfriend/mistress.  Yes, that is correct, my 'husband' moved his girlfriend to this country on our 13th wedding anniversary... talk about a slap in the face!  I think the only way to look at this, is to see just how far I have come since our marriage ended... or should I say he ended it when he had his affair.

I am happier, I smile and laugh more than I had for years.  I don't miss out on doing things because I am either waiting for him to get home from a trip, or because I'm worried he wouldn't approve.  I have made mistakes during this time, but they were mine.  I have learned to love again, even if there is more caution involved in that.  I found friends where I didn't know I had them, and unfortunately I've also lost friends as well.  I've learned that I can handle more than I thought humanely possible, that I am stronger than anyone realized.

I believe the biggest things I have learned in this time, is to not worry about what other people think.  I am my own person, with my own ideas.  If there is something I want, I can and will get it.  I am a wonderful person, well worth loving.  My soon to be ex husband never really knew me, I don't think he ever wanted to.  He has missed out on knowing a wonderful person.

I look forward to my future, whatever it might hold.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dreams of Beaches!

It's time for me to plan a little vacation... just for me!  I am going to talk to my ex about taking the boys for a week in April, right after my Birthday.  I want to sit myself on a beach, dig my toes into the sand, listen to the ocean, and bask in the sunshine.  I recently found some money that was hiding (accidental double payment of property tax), that I'll be getting in the next month... so, money I didn't know was missing is perfect for a little trip to mexico!

Now to just decide where exactly I go?  I've been to Mazatlan 3 times, and of course there are memories of my ex there.  I want to stick with the West coast, so maybe Puerta Vallarata.  I'm not looking to Party, but I also don't want to be stuck on some resort in the middle of no where.  I want to explore, shop, and wander. I do hope that P can join me, but will go no matter what.