Always that balance...

It's amazing how trying to find a balance in life can be so difficult, even with the basic things.  This weekend finally produced some nice weather here, allowing me to get into the garden and plant things.  I did get a lot of work done, seeds planted, bedding plants in, lawn mowed, weeds pulled... you get the idea. As positive and good as it was to get this done (and trust me, I have a lot more to do!), there was a downside.  My house.  The laundry has piled up, the floors unswept, the counters full, the toys laying around... again, you get the idea.  After a full day of working outside, I am not really up to getting the housework done tonight... just going to have to wait.

Another thing I did get some work on was the tent trailer!  Got most things pulled out of it (the lady I bought it from left all her camping stuff in it, as she will no longer be camping), and am in the process of washing the blankets and towels that I found.  I now just need to get it loaded up with our things so that we can head out in a few weeks, also need to figure out where we are going too!  I would really like to head back to Lake Louise for our first foray, as it's close enough that if there are any problems, we can be home quickly.  After that trip, I want to take the boys into the okanagan, they will love it out there!

Now onto how I'm doing these days.  It's been a hard week, I won't lie, it hasn't been great.  I feel overwhelmed, and tired.  The boys have been pushing, the housework never ends, the yard needs work... and I really wonder how I am supposed to get it all done?  There is so much work, work that is normally done by two people.  I know that I can do it, barely, but it stresses me.  Then I worry that I will enter into a relationship with someone just to get that help.  That scares me, scares me very much!  I need to know that I can do it all, before I can enter into a serious relationship... I don't want that need of help to colour how I see someone.  I want someone to love me, need me... not to 'take care of' in that sense.  I need to be stable in this new life of mine before bringing someone else in.

Wonderful start to June.

I always forget just how much I love dancing, until I get out and actually dance!  Friday night was a blast!  Danced like a crazy lady, got all hot and sweaty, closed the bar down.  It has been years since I last danced that hard, I suspect the last time I danced that hard was before I got married... holy crap!  I went out with the intention of not getting picked up, which wasn't easy... there was a number of guy's trying very, very hard... but all I really wanted to do was enjoy myself and dance!

I had my hair chopped off that afternoon, and am so happy that I did!  I'm thinking I will go a bit shorter next time, but overall I'm extremely happy with it.  I've never had quite this much fun with my hair, or tried something so different... it was time to change it up, my hair style (which I did love) just wasn't keeping up with who I am becoming these days.

And here it is...

Today I added to my collection of tattoo's.  It was a great deal at Tiki Town.  Donate a minimum of $50 to cure cancer, and get a 30 minute tattoo!  There was no way I could say no to this, such a wonderful cause!  A number of the artists working today are also going to be doing the Ride to Conquer Cancer.  I ended up getting Mitch, who is the artist who did my Pheonix and my wrists.  I was joined by two friends, who also got something added to their collection.  I had this lotus flower placed on my right inside forearm, and am really happy with how it turned out.

There is only one slight drawback to my wonderful weekend, I need to replace my DVD player.  It would appear the kids have played with it too much, and it no longer wants to work properly.  My guess is that Little Man did something, he is my destructive child after all.  Not sure quite why my boys think I'm made of money, but they are certainly causing me much grief these days!

Fun times ahead!

Going to be quite the packed weekend!  New hair style tomorrow, a good 5-6 inches being taken off!  Then of course drinking and dancing to show off my new sassy hair, really looking forward to the dancing, it's been way too long!  Saturday will see me stretching and twisting into some Yoga poses.  I recently started Hot Yoga, and this saturday is a boot camp.  This will give me some one on one time to really get into the poses properly.  Going to be a fairly intense 3 hours though!

Sunday will be another tattoo for me!  Tiki Town is doing a fundraiser for the Ride to Cure Cancer, and it really doesn't take much to convince me to get more lol.  I am planning on a lotus flower on my right inner forearm, a few inches below 'Embrace Love' that I got a few months ago.  Although I am somewhat tempted to get it on my neck, but not sure I'm ready for any there right now.

This past week has had many ups and downs for me, been a bit of a bumpy ride.  The yoga classes and my running are good for me as always, but for a short time after I find I'm a little short tempered.  The only reason I can think of is that I am feeling so good, so refreshed after my workout, that the kids demands/fighting just brings me down to fast and too hard.  I love how I feel after I work out, relaxed, calm and so much more comfortable in my skin.  I love my boys more than I could ever verbalize, but they know how to push my buttons... too well.  Hopefully in the coming weeks and months I can learn to keep that calm after my workouts longer... have it last further than the initial after glow.