The dream is over... there is nothing left...
Will be taking a very, very long break from this.
The last few years I have fought hard for my kids, which will never stop. But to help C and H through school issues, and to support P through cancer, I have somehow left myself behind. I have let my self go... and I need to find her again if I'm to keep fighting for my boys!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A semi lazy day.
The day hasn't been a total wash, just a little bit LOL. I did vacuum the lower level this morning, and this afternoon I took a bag full of toys, and 2 boxes of misc items down to a local charity shop. I still have more that I would like to take there, but it feels good to get some things out of the house. I also got my shopping done, sans kids... it's amazing how shopping can be relaxing without the kidlets trying to help LOL. Since then... well... not much else has been done LOL. I will get around to folding laundry while I watch my shows, and if that doesn't take long I will start to pack up my bells. I don't really want to pack my bells away, but I need to de-clutter the shelves in the living room... so packed up they shall be!
In some ways I feel like I am avoiding today, it makes it easier to forget that we will lose so much if we sell this house. A few short years ago, even the thought of losing this much money would have sent me into panic attacks... mind you a few short years ago, we were heavily in debt, and struggling to keep our heads above water. Now that we are stable, and only the mortgage for debt, it is slightly easier to swallow. That doesn't mean I have to like it though!
Tomorrow I will not be able to avoid, to many things to get organized before the weekend. Things to plan, things to order, things to organize. I can't wait until life slows down a little, so that I can enjoy it more.
In some ways I feel like I am avoiding today, it makes it easier to forget that we will lose so much if we sell this house. A few short years ago, even the thought of losing this much money would have sent me into panic attacks... mind you a few short years ago, we were heavily in debt, and struggling to keep our heads above water. Now that we are stable, and only the mortgage for debt, it is slightly easier to swallow. That doesn't mean I have to like it though!
Tomorrow I will not be able to avoid, to many things to get organized before the weekend. Things to plan, things to order, things to organize. I can't wait until life slows down a little, so that I can enjoy it more.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Makes me a little sick....
Can I just say that the amount of money we will lose in selling this house is making me a little sick. We have now talked to 3 different real estate agents, and they are all saying this same thing... list the house for $65,000 less that what we paid for it!!!! Yes, we still have equity in the house, so at least we will still have something... but I HATE the idea that we will have lost this much.
I am still working on de-personalizing the house, as I think we will still sell. I just have to remember that the savings we will have in downsizing, still make more sense than keeping this place.
I am still working on de-personalizing the house, as I think we will still sell. I just have to remember that the savings we will have in downsizing, still make more sense than keeping this place.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Ahh... Mother's Day.
Well, Mother's day has rolled around again. It was a nice day, but with Hubby gone, it's also not quite the same?!? I was out with some friends last night, so my Mom was here watching the boys. She brought some supplies with her, which I was not allowed to see. She and Monkey set up a little breakfast tray for me, with Fruit O's, Almond Milk, Fruit Cup, and strangely a Digestive Cookie! Monkey brought it to the table for me, he was being really very sweet.
The nicest thing was the cuddle time I had with Monkey, and Bug this morning. Monkey showed up in my room sometime very early (I'm thinking it was around 3am?) in the morning, wanting to come and snuggle for a bit. I don't mind having him snuggle with me, as he doesn't poke me as much as Bug does. Just after 6am, Bug showed up wanting to snuggle, so he cuddled up on my other side. The icing on this particular cake was Little Man sleeping until just after 7am! The last week he has been getting up between 5:15 and 5:30am!! Not exactly a good time for me.
The only really blip was late this morning. They were all playing in the yard, having a great time. That is until Bug found the water tap, and turned it on!!!! It is on the side of the house, where there is an incline, an area that the grass doesn't grow very well either. Now I'm not sure if any will grow at all, as it is a mini mudslide! Grrr.... I then got the joy of washing the mud and grass off their shoes. I was able to get them mostly dry in the dryer, so they should be ready to go for tomorrow. Considering that I have 3 boys, I'm amazed that this is the first time I have had to deal with them that dirty!!!!
Now it's time for me to sit back and relax... not going to be much time for that this next week.
The nicest thing was the cuddle time I had with Monkey, and Bug this morning. Monkey showed up in my room sometime very early (I'm thinking it was around 3am?) in the morning, wanting to come and snuggle for a bit. I don't mind having him snuggle with me, as he doesn't poke me as much as Bug does. Just after 6am, Bug showed up wanting to snuggle, so he cuddled up on my other side. The icing on this particular cake was Little Man sleeping until just after 7am! The last week he has been getting up between 5:15 and 5:30am!! Not exactly a good time for me.
The only really blip was late this morning. They were all playing in the yard, having a great time. That is until Bug found the water tap, and turned it on!!!! It is on the side of the house, where there is an incline, an area that the grass doesn't grow very well either. Now I'm not sure if any will grow at all, as it is a mini mudslide! Grrr.... I then got the joy of washing the mud and grass off their shoes. I was able to get them mostly dry in the dryer, so they should be ready to go for tomorrow. Considering that I have 3 boys, I'm amazed that this is the first time I have had to deal with them that dirty!!!!
Now it's time for me to sit back and relax... not going to be much time for that this next week.
Friday, May 8, 2009
2 week countdown!!!!
Eeeekkkk! In only two weeks I am hosting my Mom's 60th Birthday party, will I actually be ready??? My Cousin, her daughter (3), and my two Uncles will be arriving the night before the party, so I am really hoping to have everything as ready to go as possible before they arrive. I would like the chance to catch up with them before the chaos of the party starts. Nanny is already set to be here the full days leading up to the party, as well the Saturday morning if needed. I would like to only have to pick up the trays from the store, and the balloons Saturday morning. That means that for Friday I need the following done....
Whew! That is a lot, thankfully a fair bit can be done early. Hubby will also be home for the week leading up to the party, hopefully he will have a chance to take the Friday off to help with last minute things. This can be done, and the sooner it is done, the more relaxed I can be for the party. I will start with the deeper cleaning next week, as well as making sure the yard is in good shape (I am hoping the weather is nice to allow everyone to spill outside). The week of the party I will make sure the cake is ordered (I can't get a Mocha Torte big enough, so it will be a white cake with Mocha Butter Cream), as well as the veggie, fruit & cheese trays.
The day before the party will be assembling the lasagna, and any other dinner food. The floors will then get a good cleaning, which will be then be spot cleaned until the party starts. Bathrooms will get a last cleaning, as well as making sure there are enough supplies.
Any ideas that you have for making this as nice as possible, please let me know! I am using plates, and glasses. The only paper products will be the napkins. I know it will be a long day, but I want it to go smoothly for my Mom.
- Bathrooms cleaned & stocked
- Floors vacuumed & mopped
- Dinning table set up for food
- Lasagne's & other dinner food ready to cook
- Clothes set out for the boys & myself
- Dishes & glasses all washed and set out
- Dusting & spot cleaning
- Front hall closet cleared out and ready (thankfully it is very large)
- Enough Liquor, pop, coffee and tea
- Baking done (scones, cookies, cupcakes, etc), which can be done early
- Computer removed from the Kitchen Island
- Stereo set with playlists to last the day
- Chairs placed around the house
Whew! That is a lot, thankfully a fair bit can be done early. Hubby will also be home for the week leading up to the party, hopefully he will have a chance to take the Friday off to help with last minute things. This can be done, and the sooner it is done, the more relaxed I can be for the party. I will start with the deeper cleaning next week, as well as making sure the yard is in good shape (I am hoping the weather is nice to allow everyone to spill outside). The week of the party I will make sure the cake is ordered (I can't get a Mocha Torte big enough, so it will be a white cake with Mocha Butter Cream), as well as the veggie, fruit & cheese trays.
The day before the party will be assembling the lasagna, and any other dinner food. The floors will then get a good cleaning, which will be then be spot cleaned until the party starts. Bathrooms will get a last cleaning, as well as making sure there are enough supplies.
Any ideas that you have for making this as nice as possible, please let me know! I am using plates, and glasses. The only paper products will be the napkins. I know it will be a long day, but I want it to go smoothly for my Mom.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Missing my camera...
I am truly missing my camera today... :( Our truly wonderful neighbor de-thatched our lawn with his new lawnmower attachment yesterday, which left us with a LOT of dead grass to rake up. This morning I did that, it equals about 2 large bags full for just the back yard. I remember how much fun I used to have with my friends jumping into piles of leaves in the fall, and figured a great big pile of grass was just as good! Bug had a blast playing in the grass, although he certainly didn't enjoy the bits of grass that he tried to make their way into his mouth LOL. Little Man was enjoying himself as well, doing his best to copy all that Bug did. Little Man even did his best to do a somersault into the pile like Bug did... it's a good thing it was a big pile, Bug would jump into his somersaults LOL. I got (I hope) some really great shots of the two of them playing in that pile.
I do have a camera still, but it is a 35mm Pentax, which means I won't have photos for a few days! Ugh, hopefully my Canon will be back within a few weeks, I am really missing it. I will pick up some more film tomorrow, just sucks that I have to go this route again.
I do have a camera still, but it is a 35mm Pentax, which means I won't have photos for a few days! Ugh, hopefully my Canon will be back within a few weeks, I am really missing it. I will pick up some more film tomorrow, just sucks that I have to go this route again.
Surgery.
I was finally able to get surgery time for Little Man Monday afternoon, which was set for 8:15am the next morning... so we had to be at the hospital for 6:30am!!! Eeek. Lucky for us (yes, this is sarcastic here) Little Man had a rather bad night on Monday. He woke up at 9:30pm, right before I was getting ready to head up to bed. He spent the next 45 minutes extremely unhappy with me, not really sure why?? I finally got him to bed just before 11pm, and off I went. He was up again at 3:30am, although thankfully it was a short one. I had my alarm set for 5:15am, as I had spent the previous afternoon de-thatching the back yard, I really needed a shower. Our Nanny arrived just before 6am, which is the same time that Little Man woke up. Bug had gone to spend the night at Grandma's so that she could take him to school for us, which just left sleeping Monkey for Nanny.
We arrived on the 3rd floor right on time, and were assigned a bed. We waited around for a good 45 minutes before a nurse came along to get Little Man's vitals, and talk about the surgery. Little Man was actually enjoying himself there, he had cars to play with, a garage too. He was also being his cute and adorable self with everyone around us. He did start to get antsy about 20 minutes before surgery, I think he was just getting a bit tired. At 8:15 we were brought to the surgery waiting room so that we could talk with the Anesthetist before actual surgery. It was awful having to give Little Man over to the nurse... he got really upset when he realized they were taking him somewhere... away from us!
Surgery itself was really, really quick! Hubby and I went to the waiting room, at which time Hubby decided to head downstairs and get a coffee. Within 8 minutes my pager went off! I headed off to Little Man's slot, hoping to see Hubby on the way... no luck. Just as I got to Little Man's spot, they were wheeling him back already. He was just laying in his cot, sucking on a bottle, looking very out of it. The nurse warned me to NOT take the bottle out, she said that when she had he threw a fit LOL. I then got to spend the next 15 minutes doing my best to calm him down. The nurse had taken the gauze off where his IV line was, but before she could do anything, Little Man ripped it out! He got even more upset when I had to hold some gauze to his hand to stop the bleeding. Finally after walking the halls I was able to calm him down... still no Hubby at this point, and I'm not allowed to leave the unit yet. I did finally notice a door at the end of our hallway that looked to lead to the waiting area, and sure enough there was Hubby. He said he had thought he heard Little Man crying, but really didn't think he would have been out yet.
All in all, surgery was quick and relatively easy, we were home by 9:30am. The only downside was Little Man not letting me lay him down in his crib for a nap yesterday, must have been worried I would be gone again. He finally fell asleep on my chest at 4pm, poor little thing was just so tired, but didn't want to go to sleep. Hopefully we can get back on track today.
We arrived on the 3rd floor right on time, and were assigned a bed. We waited around for a good 45 minutes before a nurse came along to get Little Man's vitals, and talk about the surgery. Little Man was actually enjoying himself there, he had cars to play with, a garage too. He was also being his cute and adorable self with everyone around us. He did start to get antsy about 20 minutes before surgery, I think he was just getting a bit tired. At 8:15 we were brought to the surgery waiting room so that we could talk with the Anesthetist before actual surgery. It was awful having to give Little Man over to the nurse... he got really upset when he realized they were taking him somewhere... away from us!
Surgery itself was really, really quick! Hubby and I went to the waiting room, at which time Hubby decided to head downstairs and get a coffee. Within 8 minutes my pager went off! I headed off to Little Man's slot, hoping to see Hubby on the way... no luck. Just as I got to Little Man's spot, they were wheeling him back already. He was just laying in his cot, sucking on a bottle, looking very out of it. The nurse warned me to NOT take the bottle out, she said that when she had he threw a fit LOL. I then got to spend the next 15 minutes doing my best to calm him down. The nurse had taken the gauze off where his IV line was, but before she could do anything, Little Man ripped it out! He got even more upset when I had to hold some gauze to his hand to stop the bleeding. Finally after walking the halls I was able to calm him down... still no Hubby at this point, and I'm not allowed to leave the unit yet. I did finally notice a door at the end of our hallway that looked to lead to the waiting area, and sure enough there was Hubby. He said he had thought he heard Little Man crying, but really didn't think he would have been out yet.
All in all, surgery was quick and relatively easy, we were home by 9:30am. The only downside was Little Man not letting me lay him down in his crib for a nap yesterday, must have been worried I would be gone again. He finally fell asleep on my chest at 4pm, poor little thing was just so tired, but didn't want to go to sleep. Hopefully we can get back on track today.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Ugh, well that sucked!
So, we had a realtor over tonight to talk about selling our house. He was the listing realtor when we bought. He suggests we list $65000 LESS than what we paid for this house 2 years ago! Last year it was suggested to list around $25000 under what we paid, which would actually still keep us on track since we have paid so much into our equity. We will be making more phone calls this coming week, and I will still be working on getting the house ready to list as well. Hopefully we can still come out even on this sale, which is all we are hoping for.
I am mostly ready for Monkey's Birthday tomorrow! I can't believe my little boy is almost 5, it's hard to believe that many years have passed since he was born. It will be a busy day around here, but should be fun. I'm sure I will be looking forward to an early night, this will be my second night in a row of getting to bed past midnight.
We are all set to go for Little Man's ear tube surgery on Tuesday. He is presently on antibiotics for another ear infection, hopefully this will be the last time we have to do this. Unfortunately I will be missing the Mother's Day tea for Bug's class that day, my Mother will be attending in my stead. I'm sure Hubby would do fine with Little Man on his own at the hospital, but there is just no way that I could be anywhere else. I will be attending with Monkey on Monday though. Maybe I should set something up on Mother's day for just me and the boys. Hubby is leaving the day before, so it will be up to me to organize something.
It's now almost 12:15am, and I really need to get some sleep... going to have a number of crazy, screaming 5 year olds over tomorrow!!!
I am mostly ready for Monkey's Birthday tomorrow! I can't believe my little boy is almost 5, it's hard to believe that many years have passed since he was born. It will be a busy day around here, but should be fun. I'm sure I will be looking forward to an early night, this will be my second night in a row of getting to bed past midnight.
We are all set to go for Little Man's ear tube surgery on Tuesday. He is presently on antibiotics for another ear infection, hopefully this will be the last time we have to do this. Unfortunately I will be missing the Mother's Day tea for Bug's class that day, my Mother will be attending in my stead. I'm sure Hubby would do fine with Little Man on his own at the hospital, but there is just no way that I could be anywhere else. I will be attending with Monkey on Monday though. Maybe I should set something up on Mother's day for just me and the boys. Hubby is leaving the day before, so it will be up to me to organize something.
It's now almost 12:15am, and I really need to get some sleep... going to have a number of crazy, screaming 5 year olds over tomorrow!!!
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