I lost my domain yesterday, it sucks that it happened, but in some ways I think it was a good thing. I bought 3travelingboys when I was still with my ex, and it went with the dreams that he brought to our marriage. Those dreams are of course long gone, new and better ones have replaced them.
Onto my the issue at hand, what on earth should my new domain be???
The last few years I have fought hard for my kids, which will never stop. But to help C and H through school issues, and to support P through cancer, I have somehow left myself behind. I have let my self go... and I need to find her again if I'm to keep fighting for my boys!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Stuck...
I have all these ideas and plans for my future... but I seem to be stuck on how to start?! I just can't decide exactly what I should be doing in a few years when I need to re-enter the work force. By the time I start sending out resumes, I will have been unemployed for 9 and a half years! That is a seriously long time. It essentially means that I will be starting all over again when I am close to 40.... that sucks! Now, I would not give up these years with my children for anything, and I know it's been so good for them to have me here. But, it's also somewhat draining to have to put myself on the back burner for such a long time.
Considering I don't want to commute to the city, my job choices will be limited. I would prefer to find something that I can do from home, but again I'm stuck with how and what to start. I have a week away from the boys after Christmas, a week where I can really sit down and decide what I should concentrate on. Who knows, maybe I can do both of my 'ideas'...
Considering I don't want to commute to the city, my job choices will be limited. I would prefer to find something that I can do from home, but again I'm stuck with how and what to start. I have a week away from the boys after Christmas, a week where I can really sit down and decide what I should concentrate on. Who knows, maybe I can do both of my 'ideas'...
Monday, December 6, 2010
Scared by my grocery list!
I'm sitting here tonight compiling my grocery list, and I fully admit it's scaring me a bit right now! Tomorrow marks 10% Tuesday around here (first Tuesday of each month), so I'm planning to make the best of the deal. I'm hosting the feast Christmas day this year, figure it would be easier for the boys to be home with all their new toys. It's not a complicated meal, but it does take some planning. I'm trying to think of all the things I will need for the rest of the month, that I can get and store now.
I've been watching my money much more carefully this month, as well as marking down what I spend. I'm not going the cash envelope method, but using an app for my iPhone to track what I spend in each category. It's helping me keep from spending money on things I don't need. Of course I'm only 6 days into the month, but so far it's looking promising. Next month the savings will be better with no gifts to purchase.
Will be nice to see a nice balance back in savings again!
I've been watching my money much more carefully this month, as well as marking down what I spend. I'm not going the cash envelope method, but using an app for my iPhone to track what I spend in each category. It's helping me keep from spending money on things I don't need. Of course I'm only 6 days into the month, but so far it's looking promising. Next month the savings will be better with no gifts to purchase.
Will be nice to see a nice balance back in savings again!
Slacking again
I've been slacking on blogging so much this year... it's been getting harder to verbalize my feelings. Life has dealt me a few giant curve balls, but I'm doing my best to work through them. I've also had some wonderful and incredible things happen over the last few months. The best has been finding my old best friends from high school, and to find him so happy has been wonderful! J and I were inseparable for 2 years, he was my go to guy. I loved him like a brother, and was devastated when life came between us.
My life in many ways is coming full circle for me. Last year I reconnected with P, and that has gone so much better than I ever thought possible. I am leaving my heart in his hands, and trust him to take care of it. C has stood by me since all the crap with my ex happened, she has been a true friend, confidant, and someone to let loose with as well. And now J has come back to be my friend and confidant. His husband is also turning into another wonderful and true friend. The crazy part of these relationships, is that they all ended around 18 years ago when I left high school! Yet, since my marriage ended, I have somehow found them again.
The powers that be have blessed me so much. They may have let me go through some truly heart wrenching moments with my ex, but they have given me so much more in return. When my ex came home from his business trip back in May 09, and informed me our marriage was over... I could not see how much of a blessing this would be! I knew my life with him was over, but it was so hard to see how much more wonderful my life would be without him. Does this mean I forgive him for his affair?? No, but I do my best to not let it affect my life now.
My journey to finding myself will continue for many years to come, heck, it will continue till the day I die. But, it's a journey that I am slowly learning to take with my eyes open, and facing it head on.
My life in many ways is coming full circle for me. Last year I reconnected with P, and that has gone so much better than I ever thought possible. I am leaving my heart in his hands, and trust him to take care of it. C has stood by me since all the crap with my ex happened, she has been a true friend, confidant, and someone to let loose with as well. And now J has come back to be my friend and confidant. His husband is also turning into another wonderful and true friend. The crazy part of these relationships, is that they all ended around 18 years ago when I left high school! Yet, since my marriage ended, I have somehow found them again.
The powers that be have blessed me so much. They may have let me go through some truly heart wrenching moments with my ex, but they have given me so much more in return. When my ex came home from his business trip back in May 09, and informed me our marriage was over... I could not see how much of a blessing this would be! I knew my life with him was over, but it was so hard to see how much more wonderful my life would be without him. Does this mean I forgive him for his affair?? No, but I do my best to not let it affect my life now.
My journey to finding myself will continue for many years to come, heck, it will continue till the day I die. But, it's a journey that I am slowly learning to take with my eyes open, and facing it head on.
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