Hitting my Stride.

This week has been good!  Not to say there aren't the usual ups and downs, that is just life, especially with 3 boys.  But, I feel better, more grounded, more relaxed.  I have made some changes this week, but nothing too major   I've finally started to exercise again, I'm getting better sleep, and I think I'm just learning how to relax.  I still have a long way to go, but it's nice to feel that I am making progress again.

I did get around to picking up some material last weekend, although still not organized enough during the day to actually sit down at the sewing machine.  I figure that after this week of hitting a bit of a stride, I should be good to start.  

I made so much progress moving my life forward this last summer, but the last few months have felt a little bit like limbo.  It's now time to push forward with life again.

Awww!

Last night I heard those wonderful little words that every Mom waits to hear, from the Little Man... I wuv you Mama!!!  Oh, how my heart just melted.  After a weekend with them away, it was the perfect thing to help soothe my nerves.  Was even better to hear him repeat those same words throughout the day.

It was a big change this morning getting the kids up and ready for school.  With the last week off, and their weekend with their father, it was a struggle to get them out the door!  The fact that I had very little sleep, due to Little Man waking repeatadly, it has not been the best start to the week.

Even with the lack of sleep, I was able to get a run in at the track this morning, which I am paying for now!   Bug has soccer tomorrow morning, as well as speech, but as long as we all get some decent sleep tonight it should be fine.

Things...

I'm pretty proud of myself today, did something that I haven't done in 20 years.  It was scary, and I will need to get out there more, but I did enjoy it!  I'm sure you are all waiting breathlessly to hear what it is I did...

well...

...

I went downhill skiing!  I know it's not that all that exciting, but for me it was.  For me it was just another way of starting to live my life again.  I've been rather scared to hit the slopes all these years, scared of falling, scared of failing.  I've realized now of course that there is never a good enough reason to NOT do something!  I booked myself a lesson for first thing in the morning, which was a really helpful.  Not sure how well it would have gone without that help.  I then skied for another 3 hours, which was about as much as I could take.  Hopefully in a few weeks I will get another chance to hit the slopes.

Changes are a comin!

Working on changing the blog... going to take some time, get there soon.

Duck & Cover!

Ever have one of those days that everyone around you should duck and cover?  Well, today is that day for my kids, and anyone brave enough to come over.  I have woken up in a mood, a truly unpleasant mood.  Actually, I think this mood settled in yesterday, it's just now had time to fully blossom and reach it's full potential.  And just what is this mood you dare ask???

I am pissed off!  I am hurt.  I am angry.  I feel slighted.  I am furious.  I want to cry.  I want to inflict pain.  I want to run away.  I want to hide.

Are you wondering what has brought this mood on??  Are you really sure you want to know??  Even if you are brave enough to hang around me today, I couldn't really tell you where this mood came from.  I have some ideas, but nothing that really makes a lot of sense.

So, if you are looking for a good tongue lashing, or beating... come on over!

Life

This is the life I have been dealt, I need to start living it.

What shall I say??

Nothing too crazy is going on these days, just moving along as life usually does.  Slowly getting closer to getting the divorce finalized, which will be a wonderful day for me.  I've started the process of switching back to my maiden name, just going to take time to have all my ID and bills changed.

The closer that I get to having the divorced finalized, the more I think about my future.  I have over 4 years before all 3 boys will be in school full time, but I'm now wondering if I should still be just a stay at home Mom all that time?  I wonder just what options I do have, what options I should consider.  The thought though, of not being home with my boys, really does scare me.  I have spent the last 5.75 years home with my children... it's a truly scary proposition to think about working again.

The problem with finding a job right now, is how will I ever afford child care?  Not only that, but the available jobs here right now aren't exactly stellar.  Then again, what job would I be able to get being out of the workforce for so long.  The more I look at this problem, the more I feel I need to do some serious upgrading.  Which of course leads to the next question, what kind of upgrading???