Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Overwhelmed

Very simply stated, I'm overwhelmed.

My emotional state is tenuous at best, but put it under added stress, and I start shutting down. I feel almost invisible, sort of wish I was actually. I know I'll get through this, as I have many many times before, just so very tiring.

I took Little Man to counselling yesterday, to get him help with his overwhelming anger. He did well, he connected with her. I didn't do so well. Sitting in that office, not one I'd ever been too before, took me back to the days of Bugs cancer treatment. I felt panic, fear, desolation. It's been some time since I'd had such a strong flashback, such a flood of painful emotions. Makes me wonder if I will ever truly be able to move on emotionally.

Tonight I'll get my fingers dirty working in my yard, giving myself a chance to reconnect with the earth. I could truly use her healing right now.