Monday, December 6, 2010

Slacking again

I've been slacking on blogging so much this year... it's been getting harder to verbalize my feelings.  Life has dealt me a few giant curve balls, but I'm doing my best to work through them.  I've also had some wonderful and incredible things happen over the last few months.  The best has been finding my old best friends from high school, and to find him so happy has been wonderful!  J and I were inseparable for 2 years, he was my go to guy.  I loved him like a brother, and was devastated when life came between us.

My life in many ways is coming full circle for me.  Last year I reconnected with P, and that has gone so much better than I ever thought possible.  I am leaving my heart in his hands, and trust him to take care of it.  C has stood by me since all the crap with my ex happened, she has been a true friend, confidant, and someone to let loose with as well.  And now J has come back to be my friend and confidant.  His husband is also turning into another wonderful and true friend.  The crazy part of these relationships, is that they all ended around 18 years ago when I left high school!  Yet, since my marriage ended, I have somehow found them again.

The powers that be have blessed me so much.  They may have let me go through some truly heart wrenching moments with my ex, but they have given me so much more in return.  When my ex came home from his business trip back in May 09, and informed me our marriage was over... I could not see how much of a blessing this would be!  I knew my life with him was over, but it was so hard to see how much more wonderful my life would be without him.  Does this mean I forgive him for his affair??  No, but I do my best to not let it affect my life now.

My journey to finding myself will continue for many years to come, heck, it will continue till the day I die.  But, it's a journey that I am slowly learning to take with my eyes open, and facing it head on.

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