Sunday, November 7, 2010

What do I do with tomorrow?

I had really hoped I wouldn't be married by this point, but well here I am... tomorrow will mark 14 years of Marriage to C.  It also marks one year that C moved back to Canada with his girlfriend/mistress.  Yes, that is correct, my 'husband' moved his girlfriend to this country on our 13th wedding anniversary... talk about a slap in the face!  I think the only way to look at this, is to see just how far I have come since our marriage ended... or should I say he ended it when he had his affair.

I am happier, I smile and laugh more than I had for years.  I don't miss out on doing things because I am either waiting for him to get home from a trip, or because I'm worried he wouldn't approve.  I have made mistakes during this time, but they were mine.  I have learned to love again, even if there is more caution involved in that.  I found friends where I didn't know I had them, and unfortunately I've also lost friends as well.  I've learned that I can handle more than I thought humanely possible, that I am stronger than anyone realized.

I believe the biggest things I have learned in this time, is to not worry about what other people think.  I am my own person, with my own ideas.  If there is something I want, I can and will get it.  I am a wonderful person, well worth loving.  My soon to be ex husband never really knew me, I don't think he ever wanted to.  He has missed out on knowing a wonderful person.

I look forward to my future, whatever it might hold.

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