Feeling pretty good.

I am really starting to feel better, about myself, and about where I am going. I look better than I have in over 10 years, and I'm still losing. In another few months (I have between 12lbs and 22lbs to go) I will be at my goal weight, can't wait to get some shopping done this fall. I have a great house to move into in a few months, and even found out yesterday that there is a possibility of moving in earlier, which would be incredible. I have three absolutely amazing boys that love me unconditionally, something that no one can take away. Many people do not realize that I am 35, would not put me older than about 27/28 years old. Before I lost the weight I had finally started to look my age, now that has been reversed. Guess it means I could easily go for a younger man LOL.

As much as I do still love him, I do not like him, and each and every day my love is slowly falling away. I can't wait for the day that my feelings are diminished enough that what he says to me, does not hurt or affect me the same as it does now. I know it will take time, but I am slowly getting there, which is what I need to be able to move on with my life. Love is not something I can just turn off with a switch. With the help of my friends, family and counselor, I will get to a healthier place in regards to my feelings for him. I will not allow what he has done, to ruin the rest of my life.

I am only now realizing just how much of myself I repressed while with him, just how much of myself I put away to make things better for him. I did too much for him, and not enough for me. Who I really am is coming out, and she is incredible strong. I am going to make the most of this new life I have, make it a life that I can be proud of... that my boys can be proud of!