Sunday, February 15, 2009

Not long enough

This week was just too short! Hubby left for England again yesterday, I hate that he is gone. He will be gone for 9 days, possibly a little longer if everything doesn't get done in time. This first week is going to be rather long, the boys don't have school at all, so no break at all. Guess I should get used to that though, since I will be schooling them in the fall. At least I don't have to rush out the door first thing in the morning.

So, it was NOT food poisoning that I had. Monkey got sick Tuesday night, and Little Man was sick on Wednesday... his first one was all over the stairs, really lovely to clean up! Bug only had the runs, and hubby didn't get anything! Thankfully we were all better by Friday, as we had arranged for the boys to be at Grandma's house for the night.

Hubby actually got me flowers!!!! I can't remember the last time he got me flowers, he also made reservations a very, very nice restaurant for dinner. I can't remember the last time I had such a nice dinner, it was wonderful. I highly recommend Il Sogno for a lovely nice dinner, the food was excellent, and the service impeccable. It was also nice to not hear any children anywhere!

Monkey is becoming a bit dramatic these days LOL. Bug shared one of his valentine suckers with Monkey. Monkey did say Thank You very nicely, but got mad at Bug for not saying Your Welcome?!?! So, he said 'I'm never speaking to you again!' LOL. Of course 5 minutes later he was doing his best to get Bug's attention to ask him a question.

I haven't written much about my Step-Father, also don't really want to dwell there... but he said something to me Friday afternoon as I dropped the boys off at their house. He said that he didn't like the way we yelled at the boys!!!! Now, I will admit, I have been yelling a bit more than I like... but of all the people to say this to me!!! For those that do know my relationship with him, you will know what it was like growing up... lot's of being yelled at, belittled, put down, and just dealt with contempt.

In some ways it is a wake up call, but at the same time... if he feels it isn't right, why did he do it to me. Of course he did imply that my memory is flawed, as well as those of his biological children. I can say, that I have never belittled my boys, nor said that they are stupid. The yelling does need to stop, but it sometimes feels like it is the only way to be heard over the noise in this house some days.

I just need to find a way to channel the anger I sometimes feel, especially the frustration. I don't always know how to deal with the attitude, and fighting that the boys do... and it's only going to get worse when Hadrian joins in. Maybe just start with a deep breath when I feel I am about to yell, and learn to walk away until I can talk calmly.

So, wish me luck this coming week that I can keep it together a little better.


  1. Funny I was told the same thing a few weeks ago..that i tend to yell a little more then I use too!!!! I too feel as though it is the only way I can be heard some days. Not easy bring a stay at home mom and feeling like no one!!!!!

  2. Thanks :) Today was a bit better, although they certainly did what they could to test me!!!