Strength

It's a strange feeling when your counselors keep asking you how you are able to deal with such stressful situations so well?!? I was point blank asked on Friday where I got the knowledge to know that his affair is not my fault in any way! You would think you go to counselors to help you come to that conclusion, not have them wonder how you already had the strength to get there yourself.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing... just very, very strange.

It also seems strange to have other Mom's tell me that I am an inspiration. I really don't feel that I am, I just feel like I am doing the best that I can given the crap situation that I have been dealt with. It also makes me feel like I need to find a way to help other women in this situation, but I have no idea how to go about it. Maybe one day the right opportunity will come along to show me what I can do.

Today was a better day for me, I had a wonderful counseling session this morning. This really helped me see where I am. It also showed me that I am moving in the right direction, and that by continuing on this present path I will come to a good place. A place that I can heal properly, and come out the other side healthier, and happier. Let's just hope it comes sooner rather than later.

I was chatting with a male friend from high school last night, and he helped remind me that I do have power. I was, and am (although I know many would disagree with this), a rather shy person, but he believes that I have always had power when it comes to men. I think he's right, I've never felt odd or out of place when dating or flirting. I don't feel this power when I am in a room full of women I have never met... just not as comfortable. When I am ready to date again, I want to remember what he said. I am not powerless!