Sunday, May 9, 2010

It has been some time since I last posted, nothing too crazy going on.  I really should start posting more, it feels good to get things out as they happen.  May 2nd was Monkey's birthday, my big boy turned 6 years old!  Time certainly goes fast, feels like such a short time ago that I first held my first born son.  Today being Mother's Day, really wasn't anything different then other days.  Yes, the boys made me things at school, but they are still too young to really treat me on this particular day... one day it will happen though.

I am very happy with my decision to not bother dating right now... There is someone I am seeing, and have been for many months now (casually).  I'm thinking it could be more than I had thought...

I'm doing well, things continue to improve for me.  I am coming up on one year of being a single Mom.  This is one day I'm not sure how to feel about, or how to mark either.  On one hand I want to celebrate, as I  haven't been this happy in years... my ex's affair and consequent betrayal has ended up being for the best, but, at the same time, it has also made life just that much harder for me.  I am now a single Mom, during the week I am on my own, with only the odd weekends as a break.  I have an even bigger respect for Mom's out there who do it with no help of any kind from the father of their children.  On the other hand, it was a day that my dreams and hope for the future was destroyed... the stable family my boys had was destroyed.  For my boys sake I hurt, through no fault of their of own their lives have been uprooted and changed.  I do what I can to let them know that their father and I love them, but I don't know if that is even close to enough to help them transition.

It is now time for to find my bed, which is of course occupied by my Little Man... he has been in my bed most nights for about a month now.  I find myself just too tired most nights to work on getting him back to his own bed.  It breaks my heart to hear him cry 'Mama's Bed, I want Mama's bed'.

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