Processing

This has been the best/strangest/oddest day I have had in some time.   So much has happened, and so much more can come from it.  A lot I can't speak about yet, one day though, I hope.  What I will talk about was how I felt.  I was so hesitant to try Dexedrine, to try any ADHD medications for that matter, and I'm still not sure exactly what to think.  It wasn't bad, but it was certainly different.  I will try to explain, but I warn you this could end up making no sense!

I felt like the space in my head GREW!  All those little (and some big) thoughts that would slip from my mind before I could deal with them, were there.  All the tasks that I needed to accomplish at any given time, again they were there.  I actually managed to get down to deal with laundry this morning, and deal with all the little things along the way without being sidetracked.  When I arrived back in the kitchen, laundry basket in hand, plus a myriad assortment of other things I needed, I was a bit in shock.  It didn't take me 4 trips to get it all, not even two.  One trip was all it took.  I know this might not seem huge to most people, but for me it was incredible!  I am always getting side tracked by little things, or the little things are forgotten.

The challenge is going to be re-learning how to process all these thoughts, my brain isn't used to working this way.

Energy.  I had more energy than I have had since... well... teen age years?!?!?!  I'm sure that's not true, but it has been some time since I have not only had energy to spare, but the drive to get things done.  I wanted to accomplish things, it felt like a need to me.  It's not to say things didn't distract me, but I was amazed at how easily and quickly I could get myself back on track.

This is not to say it was perfect and easy.  With all those thoughts staying in my head, it felt a bit crowded.  The only way to describe it was a headache, without the pain.  This is where time will help, time to let my brain learn how to file and process all the extras that are sticking around.

I ended up taking 10 mg at 7:45 am, and another 10 mg at 1:00 pm.  I will continue with this for the next week, and see how I'm feeling, how I'm coping.  I may not always take a dose in the afternoon, as there are going to be days that I just want to hang with the boys.

This is a journey that I never expected to be on, but I am finding that those have become the best parts of my life.  I found love (so unexpectedly) when I wasn't looking.  I have been given the chance at making my own future.  This may just be another journey that I need to take, that will bring me great rewards.