Monday, November 2, 2009


Do you ever fail at things?? I have many times in my life, but none hurt me the way this failure has. Can you guess what it is???

My son, my Monkey. I have failed him. I have failed to protect him, failed to always keep him safe, failed to keep life from hurting him. I do realize I can't protect him all his life, but he's only 5 and a half years old. It is my job, and my duty to protect him now. And yes, I have failed.

I have failed to protect him from his own family, he is hurting so much over all that has happened. And he will continue to hurt over this his whole life, because I couldn't keep his family together. I was given no choice, no option... but it is still my failure. I am his Mother and Father right now, and I have failed.


  1. When I see a post from you or a journal or a quick update for us on bbc.... I don't see failure. I see all the amazing things you've been able to do, despite what's been handed to you. I don't know how you even get to half these things. And your kiddos will see that, too. It's hard from time to time and all of us mommas think we've failed our kids at some point. But the good... really outweighs the hurt. Sending you hugs!!

  2. I have no pat solutions to offer, except to say that you have NOT failed your sons. You are the one who unfairly has to pickup the pieces from some harmful decisions your husband made. Just like you are hurt, but not destroyed, so can you help your sons to move forward with strength and an eye toward the future.

  3. You have not failed!! Not by a long shot!!! You are showing your kids how to be a strong, independent person. And through it all you are living a healthier lifestyle. You are awesome!!! I am so proud of you!!

  4. Thank you ladies! I am much better today, yesterday morning was just a low point for me. Monkey's teacher thinks he needs counseling, which I always knew was a possibility, but hadn't thought it got to this point yet. I do know that I am doing okay, but when you hear that your child needs help... well, I'm sure you can imagine :(