Monday, December 14, 2009

Finding Me

It has been some time since I last posted.  I wouldn't say I was crazy busy this whole time, or totally bored... just somewhere in between.  I have been slowly taking stock of my life, where I have been, where I am, and where I am going.  You know, the usual type of thing to do when your life has been turned upside down.  I have found solid ground to place my feet on, it's just now figuring out the direction that I want to take them.

First off, I am happy.  I find it very strange that I can say that, only 7 months after my husband of 13 years left me for another women.  But, it is very true.  I am happy to be in charge of my life, to take it where I want it to go.  I am ecstatic to do the things I have thought of with longing for so many years, but always worried whether or not my husband would approve.

I believe your head tells you where others want you to be, your heart tells you where your ties are, but listening to your soul...tells you where to go.

I am still taking each day as it comes, and slowly learning how to relax with my boys.  I no longer want to be the controlling Mom that I was, it is not really who I am.  This I am finding harder to change, which you would think would be the easiest?!?  I have learned how to use a power drill, not sure why I waited so long!  My house is a mess, especially compared to how I kept the old one.  But, I no longer want to be the 'Perfect House Mom'.  I am so far from being perfect, and never want to be either.

I am getting my tattoo fixed up next month, as well as getting a few piercings. I am hoping to start work on my next tattoo in February, March at the latest.  I am coming out of my shell, and living how I want to live.

I also think I need to either re-vamp this blog, or start another one.  This one has morphed (as life does) over the year, and does not really reflect who or what I am anymore.  I may keep it around for posts about my boys, but for myself, I think a change is in order.  I want to be freer about who I am. 

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