First off, I LOVE my boys, and feel very blessed to have them in my life, but... this whole single Mom thing can really suck! I have no choice but to do everything with them, unless I can find someone to watch them. This includes Dr's appointments, grocery shopping, errands, clothes shopping (trust me, this one really sucks!), pretty much anything and everything that you encounter during the day. To just have a small break every other day of about an hour would be heaven sent! To not have to listen to the questions, fighting, crying, screaming, and general babble, to actually hear my own thoughts. I guess right now living with my parents I don't even get my quiet evenings, which is maybe why I am finding this so hard.
Before moving in here, I would spend my evenings either reading a book, cleaning, surfing online, sewing, relaxing. Pretty much anything I wanted to do, as long as it was at home. I just don't feel as comfortable doing most of that here, and of course somethings I want to do, I want privacy for... sorely lacking right now. Again, only 3 weeks!
I still don't know how long I will be doing this on my own, when He will be moving back here (he is presently living in England), or even if he will. As much as I don't want to not have the boys around, having every other weekend to myself to do with as I please would be rather nice. My social life is seriously lacking right now, as I have only been 'out' 3 or 4 times since May. Rather hard to meet people when you can't get out much. I don't necessarily want to date right now, but it would be nice to socialize. The idea of dating is kind of scary, I haven't thought along those lines in 13 years, and I'm sure things have changed since then too. Things have certainly changed for me, as I will always have 3 small boys to consider when I meet new men. I won't just be considering who would be good for me, but who would be okay with my boys. That will be one in the same from now on.
Ugh, can you tell I'm tired and my head is running around in circles??!?!? I just pray that tonight I can actually get a decent nights sleep!
Gosh you have just been through so much, I am amazed at how well you are doing through all of this..I cant imagine haveing to take care of three boys alone. This just goes to prove what an awsome mom and person you are. Keep your chin up three weeks to go!
ReplyDeleteAaahhhhh, the ballance! I have yet to meet a mom who has it figured out perfectly right!
ReplyDeleteThink of it this way, though, you were on your own with the boys much of the time before the split and isn't it better being single than dealing with a rotten marriage?
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I know it's tough! There are times when I feel like a single mom since The Husband is always gone. You can do this!
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